Al Pacino to Play JoePa In Movie? The Confidential Predicts the Rest of the Cast…

Word on the Interwebs is that Al Pacino is attached to play Joe Paterno in a movie based on Joe Posnanski’s biography Paterno.  Ok, so be it.  But the Confidential cannot help wonder who will play all the other major players in the Penn State scandal.  Here are the Confidential’s recommendations.

To make life easier, we’ll borrow from the SI.com article listing the key individuals involved with the scandal:

JERRY SANDUSKY:

Jerry Sandusky

THE CONFIDENTIAL RECOMMENDS:

It’s hard to argue with the great work that William Shatner has done with the Priceline.com commercials.

FORMER PENN STATE PRESIDENT, GRAHAM SPANIER:
Graham Spanier

THE CONFIDENTIAL RECOMMENDS:

How about Sir Ian McKellan… from Gandalf to Graham.  Just needs to lose the hat and perhaps darken the hair a bit.  Child’s play for Hollywood makeup artists.

Ian McKellen Picture

LOUIS FREEH, AUTHOR OF THE FREEH REPORT THAT LED TO NCAA SANCTIONS:

Louis Freeh

THE CONFIDENTIAL RECOMMENDS:

Sydney Pollack was made for this role.

Sydney Pollack Picture

But with his unfortunate passing, we’ll go with someone a little more Italian-American, Armand Assante.  He will probably have a nice watch, which is essential for the role.

 

TIM CURLEY, FORMER PENN STATE ATHLETIC DIRECTOR:

Tim Curley

THE CONFIDENTIAL RECOMMENDS:

Victor Garber, best known as Agent Jack Bristow on Alias.  Of course, he was also in Titanic–which had a more successful ending than Paterno’s career.   All he needs is some glasses.

Victor Garber Picture

GARY SCHULTZ, FORMER VICE PRESIDENT OF BUSINESS AND FINANCE:

Gary Schultz

THE CONFIDENTIAL RECOMMENDS:

Jeffrey Jones, best known as Principal Rooney from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

We also might have considered John Banner, who played Sergeant Schultz on Hogan’s Heroes.  But he passed away 30 years ago.  Oh well.

MIKE MCQUEARY, ASSISTANT COACH/EYEWITNESS:

Mike McQueary

THE CONFIDENTIAL RECOMMENDS:

Crap, they don’t hire red-headed actors anymore.  Ron Howard ruined it for everyone.  By default, the Confidential will go with some guy named Damian Lewis that most of you have probably heard of.

 

SUE PATERNO, FIRST LADY OF PENN STATE FOOTBALL:

Sue Paterno

THE CONFIDENTIAL RECOMMENDS:

Talia Shire.  She was the wife in Rocky.  She was the sister in The Godfather.  I think she is required to be the wife in any movies regarding Italian-Americans.  She’s probably too young, but so is Al Pacino.  Whatever.  Not the Confidential’s problem.

NCAA PRESIDENT MARK EMMERT:

THE CONFIDENTIAL RECOMMENDS:

Jon Voight.  C’mon, he can pull it off.

 

What do you think?  Any better suggestions???

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