The Confidential

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ACC Revises Florida State’s 2012 Football Schedule to Accommodate TV

(SOMEWHERE IN NORTH CAROLINA)  In an attempt to placate its overlord television partners, the Atlantic Coast Conference is finalizing its 2012 football schedule.  Unfortunately, this will lead to some changes, with the Florida State Seminoles being conspired against receiving their fair share of exciting new changes.

First, because nobody cares about the Maryland Terrapins football team now that Randy Edsall has brought his bumbling. yawn-inducing style of football to College Park, ESPN has requested that the September 22 FSU-Clemson game be swapped with the November 17 game between FSU-Maryland.  Nobody wants to watch a beatdown like that in November.  Unfortunately, it just so happens that the circus is in Tallahassee on November 17, so the FSU-Clemson game must now become a road game for the Seminoles.  In exchange, the FSU-Maryland game becomes a home game for Florida State, which should appeal to fan bases of both schools as FSU fans get to watch a victory live, while Terps fans get to avoid having to watch a loss live.  Win-win-win.

Second, in a brand new marketing scheme, the October 6 FSU-North Carolina State game is also going to be moved to later in the season.  In fact, it will not even be in 2012.  Instead, the game will be played as part of a groundbreaking football/basketball doubleheader on January 29, 2013.  FSU-NC State will kickoff on ESPN at 7:00 p.m.   At 9:00 p.m., ESPN will switch its coverage to a North Carolina-Duke hoops game.  The FSU-NC State game will shift over to ESPNU or something at that point.  Dick Vitale is already excited!

Third, Duke and Florida State will play in the first “M.A.D.D. Bowl.”  In an effort to show that college football, tailgating, and alcohol do not have to go together, these two teams will kickoff at 7:00 a.m.  Also, nobody will be allowed to enter the stadium with a detectable Blood Alcohol Level.

Fourth,in response to Florida State’s protests regarding the scheduling of Thursday road games, the Atlantic Coast Conference has agreed to change the November 8 Thursday game between Virginia Tech and Florida State to November 10.  That way, Florida State does not have to play on the road on a Thursday.

Finally, to ensure adequate Thursday exposure and provide Florida State a home game on that day of the week, the October 13 home game against Boston College will be shifted to Thursday, October 18.  This is nice for Florida State fans, who get to watch the team play on that date, and then make the short trip down to Miami on Saturday, October 20, for a rivalry game against the Hurricanes.  It is going to be an exciting week for Seminole fans.

To recap, here is the final schedule for FSU (changes in bold):

  • Sept 1, Murray State: 6:00 pm
  • Sept 8, Savannah State: 6:00 pm
  • Sept 15, Wake Forest, 12:00 pm
  • Sept 22, Maryland, Time TBA
  • Sept 29, @ South Florida, Time TBA
  • Thursday, Oct 18, Boston College, 7:00 pm
  • Saturday, Oct 20, Miami, Time TBA
  • Saturday, Oct 27, Duke, 7:00 a.m. (M.A.D.D. Bowl)
  • Nov 10, @ Virginia Tech, 7:30 pm
  • Nov 17, @ Clemson, 7:30 pm
  • Nov 24, Florida, Time TBA
  • Wednesday, Jan 29, 2013, @ North Carolina State, 7:00 pm

The ACC made this official announcement regarding the scheduling changes: “In conjunction with someone from the State of Florida, presumably a Florida State fan, the Atlantic Coast Conference and ESPN are pleased to announce the finalization of the ACC football schedule.  We are also pleased that this finalization process did not impact the majority of Florida State games or in any way benefit the State of North Carolina or its member institutions.  No, we are not being defensive.  You are the ones who are being defensive.”

Florida State has yet to issue an official comment.  The Florida State blogosphere is, as usual, apathetic about things involving the football team.  Not when basketball season is just three months away…



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2 thoughts on “ACC Revises Florida State’s 2012 Football Schedule to Accommodate TV

  1. Yeesh, to clarify, this is one of those satirical posts that the Confidential occasionally rolls out. In other words, it’s a joke.

  2. Vinnie Saltine on said:

    The M.A.D.D. bowl was originally supposed to feature West Virginia but Dana Holgorson couldn’t get there.

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