The Confidential

The ACC Sports Blog

Wolfpack 2013 Football Postmortem

Disclaimer: the following article contains some sarcasm.  No wolves or wolf mascots were harmed in the making of this post.

Place: a crowded operating room at a hospital in Boston, Mass.  Date: Saturday afternoon, November 16th.

A gaggle (sorry, don’t get to use that word much) of doctors, nurses and medical techs encircle an exam table.  They are frantic, especially the one holding the two paddles in the air over the patient. “Clear!!” he yells.

He thrusts the paddles onto the patient’s chest.  Suddenly two gigantic furry feet kick into the air as the patient convulses.  A nurse watching a monitor sadly says, “Nothing.”

The doctor turns to the tech controlling the voltage.  “Again!!” he screams.

But another, older doc steps out of the shadows.  “It’s been an hour, with breaks every fifteen minutes.  Call it.”

The first doctor slumps his shoulders, rips off his surgical mask in disgust, and states simply, ” Score of death, 21-38. Cause of death, loss of bowl eligibility.”

Dave Doeren now steps out of the shadows (There are a lot of shadows).  Looking down at Mr. Wuf’s face and lolling tongue, he vows, “As God is my witness, this will never happen again!”

End disclaimer: stop groaning, the rest of it is for real. 

OK, that was my admittedly sick way of dealing with the end of any shred of relevancy the Pack has left in the 2013 football season.  Sure, we all want to see State take care of ECU on Saturday and then send Maryland packing to the B1G  in style, but none of that will do much to ease the pain of this season.  But here are a few things I think we can learn from the train wreck that was:

1) Coach has a plan and he’s sticking to it.

At times this year I gritted my teeth and wished he would adapt to his personnel just a little.  On the other hand, why put off teaching your system, which was really successful at Northern Illinois (and still is)? Some of these guys will be back next year, and sacrificing a trip to a lower bowl for a more stable future seems prudent.

2) The weak noncon schedule may have been a good thing after all.

Had the Pack scheduled a powerhouse non conference schedule as I and most of us would have liked, one of two things would have happened.  We may have been more prepared for the ACC and might have improved to, oh, three conference wins or so.  Or, more likely, we would be sitting at 0-10 overall right now. Hey, at least we have bragging rights over Richmond (sorry, more sarcasm).

3) More happy is coming. (please don’t sue me, Microsoft.  You’re about done with Windows 7 anyway).

Now Doeren gets another year of recruiting under his belt.  Now the returnees have a year of experience with the staff and the system.  Now Jacoby Brissett becomes eligible.

So let’s just pretend 2013 didn’t happen. Let’s start dreaming of a better 2014 season.  Let’s think about basketball.  Whatever gets us through the long night of the offseason.

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